It finally ended. The line of performances finally ended... Phew...

I had been like rushing to practice for performances for like HOW LONG already that I don't even have time to study fo EOY.....(Wait... Actually I'm only left with Literature... Oops) I mean I hold my instrument longer than I hold a pen!! (This is because I only read textbooks and use the computer to study, if you were wondering...) But anyways, its finally over...

Not too long ago, there was this someone whom I conserve with who made me wonder... Do I really know my friends? Or is it me who believes that I know them...? I have friends that I once believed that what they were finding in Life was great dreams that they have yet to achive, but now, its all wrong.. They were finding sinful pleasures in Life... Also, I have tried to understand one who is experiencing a complicated Life, but yet the friend denys all of what I say and that I do not understand him... One who goes in and out of depression... Yet does he really know the true meaning of depression...

A state of mind in which all is lost.. When all you think are your mistakes and what people laugh at you.. When you feel no one can help you and just the thought of facing reality causes you to tear and cry in a dark corner and stay there for that day... Where you find no peace in your dreams, where the thougts haunt you...

Do you think that I do not know such a state of mind, my friend? Or is it you who do not know the dark depths of pain and loneliness, where all is gone... Where I have been? I have been through so much, and there is so much you all do not know...

How long is it that I have not blogged? Quite a while already isn't it? About the Camp details, I'll post it next cause I'm still typing it...

The period of time after I came back from camp, I began question myself once again... Is it really good to be who I am? Not only my school friends question my personality, but also my church friends.... It is really bad to be good... Or should I say is it bad to be just.... me?

Time after time, people tend to comment about me, me being fake about myself, my personality.... Am I really fake? Everyone makes it seem that we must like the rest, or in this case I should be like society.... I don't want to change but now... it all seems different... Maybe I could change under peer pressure in due time... change for the worse....

If I actually changed, the only thing I'll try to keep is my faith the same... Matthew introduced me songs of praise and worship and suddenly after listening to them.... I find comfort in worship.... Where its only me and the Lord.. Where I just... Worship and praise his name... And find...

My place to be myself again....